This book is dedicated to everyone who ever thought evil was just a dream. Rejoice, would-be miscreants, your time has come!
With these words begins one of the most amusing how-to-books in literary history.
Author Neil Zawacki and illustrator James Dignan take inquiring minds on an extremely hilarious and comprehensive five- step program on becoming the perfect villain.
With a lot of humor involved, they explain you how to get started with the forces of evil, covering all the basics from what kind of villain to chose from, evil overlord-type names, appearances and let’s not forget a very important aspect: the evil laugh!
Once the subject reader has familiarized himself with the basics, it is time to move on to the villainous careers. Corporate bastard, mad scientist, black knight, horror-movie villain, avatar for a god or demon or supernatural creature beyond all comprehension and marketing executive are all thoroughly covered.
Of course, when you have figured out how to go about in your evil ways, you must also learn how to deal with those pesky heroes and do-gooders in appropriate and, most importantly, effective ways. Chapter 3 thus not only covers the mindset of the forces of good, but also on how to get rid of them, in an as permanent manner as evilly possible.
When the good guys have been eradicated, time has come to check out the tools of the trade: evil lairs, henchmen, fashion (look terrifying!) and evil fundraising, because, well, every villain needs these things.
And in the fifth and last chapter the “evil plan” is covered, complete with an evil plan generator for the uninspired evildoers among us.
How to Be a Villain is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud and amuse you for hours on end, as it teaches all the basics of true nasty and villainous behavior. For those aspiring men and women of the forces of Evil, it is most certainly a must-have (and also for people who just like a good laugh and fun illustrations).
Let us conclude with the wise words of master villain Darth Vader (who is also quoted at the beginning of Chapter 1):
If you only knew the power of the Dark Side!
I say it’s high time you discover for yourself in this absolutely delightful volume!
This story first appeared in Gatehouse Gazette 5 (March 2009), p. 17, with the headline “Learn to Be Evil: How to Be a Villain”.